I Can Haz Cheeseburger

For years it was Dumont (RIP). Usually in the back, at a long table in the garden space, surrounded by friends, a last good-bye and, of course, a final meal— a cheeseburger— before a summer or just random months in China (and, once, Thailand). That brioche bun. The gruyere. And, unexpectedly, a gorgeous salad topped with shaved artichoke hearts and Parmesan.

And then, when I returned from Asia, a more subdued affair. Typically just me and my sister, maybe one or two others. (The OG) Pastis. Five Leaves. Maybe Dumont, up in the front room, in a booth. Possibly Old Town or Minetta Tavern or PJ Clarke’s. But always a cheeseburger. Always. 🍔

Now, it’s JG Melon’s— a final meal before returning to the UK, a welcoming meal when landing on US shores. Or In-And-Out when I visit my mom in CA. Or Hunter House when I go to my dad’s in MI. A burger, a slice of cheese, a taste of home and comfort. 🇺🇸

It was obvious in those Asia years. I was heading to or returning from lands of rice and dumplings and stir-fries. Pre- and post-trip burgers made perfect sense. No one seems to get it now that I’m in the UK, but, let me tell you, THE BURGERS HERE ARE THE PITS. 🇬🇧

Restaurants over-knead their flavorless meat, attempt to make up for it by over-salting, and, DEAR GOD HELP US ALL, they are all cooked WELL-DONE…because of (misguided) “health and safety” laws. And don’t get me started on the butchers and the grocery stores: groan. A super high-end butcher told me the couldn’t make me a beef blend for burgers. And the “nice” preformed ones from “posh” grocery stores are useless lumps. So I do not typically eat burgers in the UK. Nope nope nope. Sad sigh. 😞

BUT THEN I HAD ONE FROM @swaledalebutchers ! Holy moly game changer! A gorgeous blend of different cuts of grass-fed beef, no pre-seasoning, a perfect size, a perfect flavor. A perfect (British) burger. They did it, by golly, they did it! FINALLY A BURGER TO LOVE! 🏆🏆🏆

[psst: I’m still totally having an arrival burger the next time I fly home.]